Conspiracy Writer Timothy Chilman

I wrote all the articles that were seen here for quite a little while. I was interviewed by some students, and you can see the result here.

SEE my presidential gray hair! HEAR my hoity toity accent! KNOW what I actually look like! In the interview, I talked about how Jesus was an ass bandit and my experiences smuggling drugs through airports.

At university, I did a course in business and management. This was not a whole lot of fun, and I wished I’d done English. My first job upon graduation was for the infamous Barings Bank. I worked in Human Resources, and when the company crashed, the first sign of trouble was when someone asked for the phone number of the head guy in Singapore at what would have been 3 a.m there.

Me overseeing an examination at one of the best high schools in Thailand.

I got into IT while working for Barings, which had become known as ING Barings when ING bought the company for one pound. When ING’s interest was announced, someone said ING was crap, like the post office. I said, “Hey! There’ll be synergy!”

I became an IT contractor, and was rich but miserable. Then, I thought I should have done computing at university. I was once rejected for a job in Sydney because I was “too flamboyant.” (“Someone who wears green tartan suspenders to a job interview probably isn’t going to fit in here.”)

When the bottom fell out of my corner of the market, I became an English teacher. I started to wish I’d done English at university again. University students in Bangkok complained that I was “too enthusiastic” and company students in Prague complained that I was “too theatrical.”

I’m now attempting to eke out an existence from writing. I charge $25 per 500 words, if you’re interested. I also do voice work and proofreading. My email address is